hi, the 2009 school year is officially over and so now I have all the time in the world to read good books, watch lovely films, hang with friends, eat, sleep, repeat. welcome home, lazy days.
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BOOKS I HAVE BEEN READING AS OF LATE:
Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy by Tao Lin
Transformations by Anne Sexton
An Education by Lynn Barber
Wild Things by Dave Egger
White Teeth by Zadie Smith
On Beauty by Zadie Smith
Sense and Sensability by Jane Austen
Coco Chanel: A Biography by Axel Madsen
Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffeneger
The book I really enjoyed reading was Transformations. what Sexton did was take the classic fairytales by the Grimm brothers and spun them into the thin pages of beautiful feather-light poetry. So easy to read. Anyway I read the original stories when I was a small child and during a period where my literary diet consisted of nothing but dark Russian troll stories, the fairytales by Hans Anderson, Greek mythology, and the tales of the Knights of the Round table. The often macabre endings made me shudder and left me sleepless and seldom did any of the characters live happily ever after. But never once did they make me turn to the sugar-pickled pink-icing-sprinkled movies Disney provided. I think I am always fascinated by legends and myths. And reading Sexton's Transformations brought that all back. I love all the sinister details. Like how, in Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, the evil step-mother asked the hunter to bring back Snow White's heart, but he was kind and pitied the girl and so brought back to the step-mother, the heart of a boar. And she happily salted the still-beating heart and ate it like a piece of cubed meet. And how in Cinderella, the two step-sisters had, in the original stories, cut off their heels or toes just to fit in the glass slipper, and it worked in fooling the prince at first, till he saw their bleeding feet. The tale of Briar Rose, and how she became Sleeping Beauty: her father, the King, had only twelve gold plates, and so only invited twelve fairies to the feast in celebration of her birth, but the thirteenth fairy, feeling scorned, cast upon her a curse that when she turned fifteen, she would prick her finger and die. But the twelfth fairy, having not given her own magical gift yet, twisted the ending of the curse into one of endless sleep..
This is not a test or an SOS
I'm no longer on a quest to get girls undressed
I search through their hearts and no treasure found
I'm so lucky this one lets dogs hang around
It's good having somebody good for a change
I thought that no good dirty cheats had drove me insane
I had finally given up on love and romance
If I laid down the sword, I'm giving my innocence
Comin' for your heart like a cannibal
Oh, she lets me right in and I fed 'til I'm full
If something goes wrong, I'm accountable
Oh, a life without her is no life at all
I la la la la la la la la love you, cannibal queen
MIIKE SNOW PLAYING LIVE IN THE WOODS, SO SICK!
so much love for this song, seriously
there was a time when my world was filled with darkness, darkness, darkness
and I stopped dreaming now I'm supposed to fill it up with something, something, something
in your eyes i see the eyes of somebody i knew before long long long ago
but I'm still trying to make my mind up
am I free or am I tied up
I change shapes just to hide in this place but I'm still, I'm still an animal
nobody knows it but me when I slip yeah I slip
I'm still an animal
on the way home from citylink one day Doug said something along the lines of him not finding this girl attractive because he looks past a girl's looks for something more. that's something that stuck in my head. also the other day when we were walking to the bus stop from serene luke said, so how are you feeling, you look disturbed, and i said, nah i'm just tired, and he said haha that's the answer i give whenever i'm disturbed. and it struck me how.. accurately and acutely he pointed that out. hmm
"like a smudged painting, my life blends itself, each day into the next, each moment into memory. the rain has come deep into my soul and my vision is a dirty fog."
Anyway, I feel like I'm in a truly happy and peaceful place. Sometimes the sick sick sadness comes but I've learnt to tell when its coming, and move immediately away from it, putting a distance between it and me.
So this week has been pretty crazy, on Monday I hung at citylink till late, then went over to Hannah's to hang by her pool, and then stayed over at Em's, where we basically spent most of the night watching youtube videos and eating oven-heated four cheese pizza. on Tuesday I met Shu in the morning at the National Library and tried to do some research for my KI IS, but after reading a few paragraphs on the 'changing face of new media and the implications on society' and how the author seemed to project us humans as creatures suffering from the terrible consequences of technology, I gave up and fell alseep on a table till the cutesy librarian tapped me awake to get his pen back. after that Shu and I went to Bugis and I had a bowl of cabbage longtong and froyo! then Eve came and the two of them dragged me down to some unbeknownst place where I was grumpy all day long because of the distance we had to walk under the sun. Shu got her new Eastpak bagpack though, it is very Awesome. I realise when you love people you are willing to follow them anyway, even to places where you feel very uncomfortable and the clothes stick to your body. Evee, Shu, see how much I love you :) that night I stayed over at Xingting's and before she pulled the blankets back over her head we had a really good honest talk. about things, life, me. oh man. anyway, I have thought long and hard (twss) about what she said have and talked it out on my other thought-purging blog. Thanks Xt, I really appreciated it.. Wednesday morning Nash came over and we baked brownies, sat in my room with all the fairy lights turned on and talked. I love Nash lots teehee. after she left I took a long nap, which is rare because I don't really sleep in the day, and then went down to meet Ging/Theo at Meridien that unholy place where boys pay two dollars and hour to stare mesmerized by the light of the computer's monitor and kill other people in a virtual manner. Not my kinda thing. after that I went down to Serene to meet Hannah and Athena and then we had dinner at the french place at the corner and at night Athena Rene Hannah Luke and I went to Emma's place and we watched FIGHT CLUB!!! also I killed Athena three times when we played some Xbox shooting game haha. that night was super trippy. starting off with drinks by the hotel, and then more inside. 'slow spreading of happy feelings across the surface of my face' said Tao Lin, i think half a jug of Long island tea does that to you. i looked at the night sky and it felt like a giant painted canvas that i could pull towards my body and wrap round myself. anyway now all the boys are at Bintan and I miss them!! and Nash and all are at C-cap camp. today I met up with Davelle and we sat around in town doing nothing really but talking non-stop. twas fun, I'm glad we've been hanging more latelty. Lately I feel though that everything's been happening really quickly, and I have no time left to reflect, or even appreciate how happy I am.
So this, here and now: I am in a good place where I think I am slowly learning to love myself, fall in love with people/places, and deal with the shit life throws at me. Thanks friends, for keeping me sane.
WEEK ONE
I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier
woke up early today and sat at the computer eating cubes of fridge-cold watermelon and watched the minutes clock down to 9am, then furiously clicked the refresh button till SISTIC coughed out good seats for me. and so yishu and i have fourth row tickets for $121! happy happy happy. couldn't ask for anyone better to go with :)
unknown, talk to unknown
ever, lasts forever
well, it's a sharp shock to your soft side
summer moon, catch your shuteye
in your room, in my room
My ideal set list
Shake It
Heads Will Roll
Black Tongue
Runaway
Gold Lion
Machine
Skeletons
Soft Shock
Honeybear
Zero
Cheated Hearts
Date With the Night
Down Boy
Art Star
Y Control
Tick
and ending it with
Hysteric
then,
Maps
pack up
I've strayed
enough
oh, say, say, say
oh, say, say, say
wait, they don't love you like I love you
wait, they don't love you like I love you
wait, they don't love you like I love you
maps
wait, they don't love you like I love you
made off
don't stray
my kind's your kind
I'll stay the same
wait, they don't love you like I love you
wait, they don't love you like I love you
<3<3
This night is going to be the Stars convert of 2010 :)
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A "WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE" OBSESSION
my grandma read this to me when i was a kid and i loved the illustrations :) except i lost my first copy when i was 6, korea.
IT LOOKS SO EPIC!!!! i'm really really stoked for this movie :)
"The adventures of a young boy named Max who, after being sent to bed for misbehaving, imagines that he sails away to where the wild things are. Max is loved by the wild creatures who make him their King, though he soon longs to be back home with his family."
THIS DESCRIPTION IS INSUFFICIENT. read the NY times review instead
Max found a pen and began:
I WANT Gary to fall into some kind of bottomless hole.
I WANT Claire to get her foot caught in a bear trap.
I WANT Claire’s friends to die by flesh-eating tapeworms.
Then he stopped.
His father had explained that the journal was for positive wants, not negative wants. When you wanted something negative, it didn’t count, he said. A want should improve your life while improving the world, even if just a little bit.
So Max began again:
I WANT to get out of here.
I WANT to go to the moon or some other planet.
I WANT to find some unicorn DNA and then grow a bunch of them and teach them to impale Claire’s friends with their horns.
Oh, well. He could erase it later. Just writing it felt good. But now he was sick of writing. He wanted to do something. But what did he want to do? This was the central question of this day and most days.
the Opening Ceremony x Where The Wild Things Are collection, featuring faux fur pieces reminiscent of the cuddly wild things in Spike Jonze's upcoming movie! so beautiful, everything is. i want to get Max's jumpsuit. utter cuteness.
you make my heart sing.
AUST Harper's Bazaar December 2009
Photographer : Chris Searl
Styled : Mark Vassallo
Model : Alexandra Agoston @ Chic
Barack Obama: We are going to read Where the Wild Things Are. How many people have read this book? This is one of my favorite books. This is one of my favorite books. Alright is everybody ready? Okay.
Michelle Obama: Wait, wait is everybody ready?
Barack Obama: Is everybody ready? That’s what I’m talking about. We got a fan right here. He knows about the Wild Rumpus. Where the Wild Things Are.
The night Max wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind and another.
He’s got a fork in his hand like he’s going to eat the dog.
His mother called him “Wild Thing!”
And Max said “I’ll eat you up!”
So he was sent to bed without eating anything.
That very night in Max’s room a forest grew and grew and grew until his ceiling hung with vines and the walls became the world all around.
And an ocean tumbled by with a private boat for Max and he sailed off through night and day.
And in and out of weeks and almost over a year to where the wild things are.
And when he came to the place where the wild things are they roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth
And rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws
Till Max said “be still!” and tamed them with the magic trick of staring into all their yellow eyes without blinking once
And they were frightened and called him the most wild thing of all
And made him king of all wild things.
“And now,” cried Max, “let the wild rumpus start!”
So this was them in the wild rumpus. Howl! Howl! They were howling and they were dancing in the wild rumpus. Have you guys ever been in a wild rumpus? I bet you guys…you guys look like you have a wild rumpus all the time. Look at them they’re swinging off trees. They’re howling at the moon. They’re dancing.
“Now stop!” Max said and sent the wild things off to bed without their supper. And Max the king of all wild things was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all.
Then all around from far away across the world he smelled good things to eat so he gave up being king of where the wild things are.
But the wild things cried, “Oh please don’t go-
We’ll eat you up-we love you so!” And Max said, “No!”
The wild things roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws but Max stepped into his private boat and waved good-bye.
And sailed back over a year and in and out of weeks and through a day
And into the night of his very own room where he found his supper waiting for him
And it was still hot.
this is not a test or an SOS I'm no longer on a quest to get girls undressed I search through their hearts and no treasure found I'm so lucky this one lets dogs hang around it's good having somebody good for a change I thought that no good dirty cheats had drove me insane I had finally given up on love and romance if I laid down the sword, I'm giving my innocence
coming for your heart like a cannibal oh, she lets me right in and I fed 'til I'm full if something goes wrong, I'm accountable oh, a life without her is no life at all I la la la la la la la la love you, cannibal queen
BOOKS I HAVE BEEN READING AS OF LATE, which include
Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy by Tao Lin Transformations by Anne Sexton An Education by Lynn Barber Wild Things by Dave Egger White Teeth by Zadie Smith On Beauty by Zadie Smith Sense and Sensability by Jane Austen Coco Chanel: A Biography by Axel Madsen Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffeneger
The book I really enjoyed reading was Transformations. what Sexton did was take the classic fairytales by the Grimm brothers and spun them into the thin pages of beautiful feather-light poetry. So easy to read. Anyway I read the original stories when I was a small child and during a period where my literary diet consisted of nothing but dark Russian troll stories, the fairytales by Hans Anderson, Greek mythology, and the tales of the Knights of the Round table. The often macabre endings made me shudder and left me sleepless and seldom did any of the characters live happily ever after. But never once did they make me turn to the sugar-pickled pink-icing-sprinkled movies Disney provided. I think I am always fascinated by legends and myths. And reading Sexton's Transformations brought that all back. I love all the sinister details. Like how, in Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, the evil step-mother asked the hunter to bring back Snow White's heart, but he was kind and pitied the girl and so brought back to the step-mother, the heart of a boar. And she happily salted the still-beating heart and ate it like a piece of cubed meet. And how in Cinderella, the two step-sisters had, in the original stories, cut off their heels or toes just to fit in the glass slipper, and it worked in fooling the prince at first, till he saw their bleeding feet. The tale of Briar Rose, and how she became Sleeping Beauty: her father, the King, had only twelve gold plates, and so only invited twelve fairies to the feast in celebration of her birth, but the thirteenth fairy, feeling scorned, cast upon her a curse that when she turned fifteen, she would prick her finger and die. But the twelfth fairy, having not given her own magical gift yet, twisted the ending of the curse into one of endless sleep..
Anyway, I feel like I'm in a truly happy and peaceful place. Sometimes the sick sick sadness comes but I've learnt to tell when its coming, and move immediately away from it, putting a distance between it and me.
So this week has been pretty crazy, on Monday I hung at citylink till late, then went over to Hannah's to hang by her pool, and then stayed over at Em's, where we basically spent most of the night watching youtube videos and eating oven-heated four cheese pizza. on Tuesday I met Shu in the morning at the National Library and tried to do some research for my KI IS, but after reading a few paragraphs on the 'changing face of new media and the implications on society' and how the author seemed to project us humans as creatures suffering from the terrible consequences of technology, I gave up and fell alseep on a table till the cutesy librarian tapped me awake to get his pen back. after that Shu and I went to Bugis and I had a bowl of cabbage longtong and froyo! then Eve came and the two of them dragged me down to some unbeknownst place where I was grumpy all day long because of the distance we had to walk under the sun. Shu got her new Eastpak bagpack though, it is very Awesome. I realise when you love people you are willing to follow them anyway, even to places where you feel very uncomfortable and the clothes stick to your body. Evee, Shu, see how much I love you :) that night I stayed over at Xingting's and before she pulled the blankets back over her head we had a really good honest talk. about things, life, me. oh man. anyway, I have thought long and hard (twss) about what she said have and talked it out on my other thought-purging blog. Thanks Xt, I really appreciated it.. Wednesday morning Nash came over and we baked brownies, sat in my room with all the fairy lights turned on and talked. I love Nash lots teehee. after she left I took a long nap, which is rare because I don't really sleep in the day, and then went down to meet Ging/Theo at Meridien that unholy place where boys pay two dollars and hour to stare mesmerized by the light of the computer's monitor and kill other people in a virtual manner. Not my kinda thing. after that I went down to Serene to meet Hannah and Athena and then we had dinner at the french place at the corner and at night Athena Rene Hannah Luke and I went to Emma's place and we watched FIGHT CLUB!!! also I killed Athena three times when we played some Xbox shooting game haha. that night was super trippy. starting off with drinks by the hotel, and then more inside. 'slow spreading of happy feelings across the surface of my face' said Tao Lin, i think half a jug of Long island tea does that to you. i looked at the night sky and it felt like a giant painted canvas that i could pull towards my body and wrap round myself. anyway now all the boys are at Bintan and I miss them!! and Nash and all are at C-cap camp. today I met up with Davelle and we sat around in town doing nothing really but talking non-stop. twas fun, I'm glad we've been hanging more latelty. Lately I feel though that everything's been happening really quickly, and I have no time left to reflect, or even appreciate how happy I am.
So this, here and now: I am in a good place where I think I am slowly learning to love myself, fall in love with people/places, and deal with the shit life throws at me. Thanks friends, for keeping me sane.
The reason why I'm listing (although I suspect it will turn into full-fledged this-is-what-i-did-that-day-blogging in about a minute) what happened this week is because I cannot, for the love of god, even remember what happened last monday. Even though it was just a week ago! I have to pull information off twitter to fill in the gaps. But it was a wicked week though. I am a very very happy girl..
Monday, my group had OP in the morning which went Okay and well. I am just glad that I never, ever, have to speak to him again. after taking a few breathers, Marc and I went crazy happy in the bleachers, and then the class headed to town! but because Jgoh insisted that Yao Arun and Emma were pissy because they waited for me and I wasn't going to turn up for the movie I didn't have lunch with the class and rushed down to citylink only to find out he was kidding. Meh. Anyway the five of us watched "This Is It" at Suntec. And it was boring; I never grew up a Michael Jackson fan anyway. Then we went back to Citylink and sat around till the cows came home.
Tuesday, met Xingting at the bus stop near Watten Estate, and we went to the playground and sat on the slides and talked :) The last time I met up with her was at Rail Mall's Subway which was in August, or September. It was really nice just sitting around and catching up about life/friends/school/love. Athena's dad swung by with my camera and then Xingting and I went to Citylink and just hung till she went to Ben's place. Oh and at night on our way to dinner at Marina, Jgoh pretended to be a gay superstar. Pictures l8r
Wednesday was the day I woke up really early in order to get Yeah Yeah Yeah tickets for Shu and I, and then I met Cassi at Cluny' Simply Bread to catch up and practise SATs math. Mmmmm we had three sticky buns. sticky buns remind me of the early days of studying with Ging and Timo, of Liz gan and nights at Guthrie. oh and you know when I said my math is pretty terrible? I really wasn't kidding. The state of my math skills (UTTERLY DEVOID OF THEM) astounds me... ah its seriously horrible even after Athena and Eka tried explaining the remainder question to me I couldn't get it. The other day Ging, Timo, Yao, Athena were talking (bitching) about M, and Ging said, "but.... she's really.. I mean she asks really stupid econs questions." and someone said, "there are no stupid questions, only stupid people." (which is something Eve said on Saturday about me too) and so I was thinking:
1) what if people judge my intellect based on my math skills. by that criteria I will be the little critter in the ground all ye math giants tred upon!!!! 2) I can never work in Google Kirkland and the amazing Lego ranch
also that day I bought a Marc Jacobs coat.
Thursday I met up with Davelle!!!! Who I hadn't really talked to since like, May, or April, or something. But it was very comfortable. We sat at Lido till the rain stopped, then did a lot of walking, and talking till my mouth was dry. Actually that happened with Xingting too haha a sure sign that we're having a good conversation :) and we traipsed around Marks and Spencers because all the Christmas kitschy stuff are out!!!
my tweets for that day:
Davelle and I are drunk on the Christmas spirit heh heh can't stop singing Christmas carols ~*~LET IT SNOW~*~ http://twitpic.com/p7o4l 12:31 AM Nov 12th from Echofon
I LOVE marks&spencer's Christmas decorations candy chocolate mini santas everything!! red and green, so festive http://twitpic.com/p7o0y 12:29 AM Nov 12th from Echofon
After that I took a train down to our class party at Julius' place where the girls and Julius/Shaun Elijah/Jarrod were crouched on the floor playing The Game of Life. and so I retreated into the wonderful corner that is Julius' bookshelves!!! The treasure trove of most amazing graphic novels and books.. he was the one who introduced me to Fables which till now, I cannot stop waxing lyrical about. Oh and after Jon, Sean and Marc came, I finally figured out how to play a good game of poker.
1) you have to have the 'seat of good luck' 2) you have to be willing to buy in again and again and again and again after you lose 3) you have to have a girl by your side 4) and finally. you have to adopt Shaun's style of playing ie. don't play till you have good cards then sweep the table of all its chips (or in this case, "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" question cards)
also, Marc and Jon are my aggressive-poker-heroes. (I didn't go down to Citylink that day)
Friday, friday I woke up really late and met Jiap to pass her my camera case and her d70s stuff before she left for the school trip to Japan, and then I went down to Citylink.
Okay, I remember this really clearly:
past the mrt station, past Bread talk and Watson's, to the double escalator down and up, past HMV and the book store and then up the escalator to the restaurant that serves asian food, thai express, newurbanmale, prints, past the side exit to Marina square, past the sushi restaurant and the accessories shop, and walk towards the green-lit sign at the end of the corridor. push open the double doors to the open area. the sky is a heather grey. rain is drizzling down, but quietly. in a way that doesn't ruin your hair. close your eyes. someone somewhere is strumming a guitar. two guitars. a song you're intimately acquainted with... death cab. then yeah yeah yeahs. others, unknown. but still beautiful. i probably use this phrase too often in such beautifully simple moments but: if i died right now i would be happy. i want to take this moment and say, hello, you are mine, and gently wrap a warm blanket around it quickly and keep it intact forever. or grasp at it with my two hands before it slips away into the night.
Saturday morning I met Yishu and Eve at Newton, before we went for the biannual Barker carnival. two years ago I went for it with Eve too. I think it was better than, being part of the tween crowd. Now we just feel old and irrelevant hahaha Shu says that we are interrupting the flow of boys and girls searching for their life-partner in the sea of (they cross their fingers) rich little kids. But whatever. There weren't any cute guys; the last carnival was so much more interesting.... HAHAHA *winks* so we spent thirty bucks on food like Jedi balls (twss), brownies, longtong i don't know how to spell it, chicken wings, hot dogs. Anyway we had the brilliant idea of converting the rest of Eve's coupons (thank you Mr. Hoon) into real money. And so with seventy dollars in hand, we cabbed down to Chinatown for a wonderful mid-morning adventure involving old world necklaces, gold and silver rings, and a vintage collection of absolutely gorgeous animal-shaped charms, circa the 1950s. It was reallly fun. I love hanging with Eve and Shu :) have plans to meet them on Tuesday. In the afternoon I came home and slept. At night I went for church.
anyway. the thing I love about citylink, is its location, a little cafe at the end of the world, just a little out of your reach. but if you want it bad enough, you get to hang with an amazing bunch of people. amidst the frenzied (NOT) studying, you get free drinks, free sushi, and a whole lot of jews. i'm kidding. i'm not going to use the word 'real' anymore because its frankly overused, and how real can anyone be all the time anyway? how here at least, the friends aren't just for kicks. the constants: yao, ging, jgoh, chris. the variables: timo, alex, arun, ronald, doug, jas. the girls: emma, hannah, athena and i... so sweet. sitting around singing happily to songs, watching smoke curl into the air, drinking coke. reading my books, eating granola, exchanging ipods. doing nothing. laughing. chilling. no mood swings, no fucking political schemes... happiness radiating from the walls. i love that place. the comfort in the familiarity of the surrounding. the tiles on the ground, the pile of newspapers perched on top of the counter, the faces of the starbucks staff. the sofa seats. our favourite tables. we know where all the electric sockets are. where to go in search for food. the quickest way back home.
I get my citylink fix everyday. oh but GUYS lazer shields up!!!! when certain people interrupt our zen . . THRILLER: Xingting, Denise, Marc and friends, Alex and Jas
Last night we took a seaplane to Neverland, and never came back. and, the blue strobe lights are really just miniature fairies that have creeped out of our heads. Our minds are a living, breathing mash-up of an all-night party.
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